After my most recent story that shared ideas on how best to lure new followers with impractical bribes, I received a new ransom note that I am taking very seriously.
First, I was not aware that I owned a puppy, and not sure that “owning” is the right term since that sounds so inequitable, not that the puppy owns me but more of a sharing and co-dependent relationship is what makes sense. But, not being aware of the puppy in the first place made this most recent ransom note even more alarming.
So, I am not reaching out again to plead for help. Thanks to all of you who recently started following me because now I am close to the goal, or rather the “demand” of having 100 followers. Only need a few more and I would certainly rather have a puppy than receiving said puppy’s doodies as the note threatens. But, I am also aware that one should not negotiate with kidnappers because the demands only grow. Indeed, I am mentally preparing for the next demand — one MILLION followers.
Also, I noticed the note was signed “me”, which I presume is the secret person behind Medium, much like “Q”. I was not aware of the dark network of puppy renditions happening either. I think we need to try unveiling the secretive “me” and only a sum of more than 100 followers can do that.
Please help and if/when a new puppy emerges and is sent to me, then I would be happy to write a story about our emotional reunion. Or could even write a story about your puppy…again if that could be shipped to me for a few weeks. Just being practical.
Thank you and please stay close to your puppies, or else.