Opposites Distract

Michael Perman, C'EST WHAT?
2 min readNov 17, 2022
C’EST WHAT? photo by Michael Perman

Yesterday morning, while eating a biscuit and sausage with tepid coffee, I drove backwards down a one way street to see if that would negate the danger. Since it was raining heavily I opened all the windows and moonroof in the car even though it was daylight and there was no moon to see. Since my clothing was soaked, I got naked and dumped the clothes in the dryer, then placed them in the washer so they would get wet again.

Feeling bored. I watched the Godfather backwards in reverse so I could learn why Michael Corleone killed all the heads of the five families before anyone else knew. Read the Bible so creation came after we know all the stories and could clue-in Adam and Eve.

Got hungry and made a Reuben sandwich but put the meat on the outside of the rye bread and melted the Swiss cheese on top of the meat, then sprinkle ketchup instead of mustard. Instead of saying a bracha I said the lords prayer, not so much for the cow that made the meat that was corned but for the beauty of all those ingredients coming together in a new way.

Feeling sluggish, I took a nap in the shower while the water was running cold. Then, I got dressed with my shirt inside out and wore sock on the outside of my shoes since they were designer socks by Tina Fanuccio, the famous Swedish sock designer who specializes in muted earth tones. Went out for coffee at a tea shop and bought Jasmine for a woman named Petunia who was standing three spaces back since she seemed to be nervous.

Later in the day, I organized my sock drawer, ensuring the smelly socks were left on top and single socks with holes were on the left side of the drawer so they could more easily find their mate.

Curious Sheep in Ohio, photo by Michael Perman

Over drinks at the pancake house I met a guy named Edward who couldn’t find anything. Everything was everywhere. He said to himself and then me: one of these days, I am going to put things in their place, so I will be able to have things where I want them, one day, but not now,” he said to his soup, reflecting in the glory of its steamy and shiny broth.

Tomorrow I think I will begin the day at midnight, so all of these experiences reverse again, and my day can be the opposite of everything I would expect. Let’s try!

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Michael Perman, C'EST WHAT?

Michael Perman is an experienced copy and short story writer who specializes in innovation, creativity, food and future trends.